Hear Me Out: You Can't Trust The Internet To Make A Best Albums Of All Time List
Okay, so I'm on rollingstone.com a while ago, and they have listed the Reader's Top 100 albums of all time. So I go through the lst, writing shit down, and figuring out along the way that there are a hell of a lot of Weezer fans on the Internet. However, while I don't agree with all of the choices, a lot are good calls. Here's some useless tidbits of information about that list...
* As mentioned previously, there are a hell of a lot of Weezer fans on the Internet. How do I know? Weezer is the only band in the Top 100 to have ALL of their albums included. Yes... ALL of them ("Pinkerton" was highest ranked at #16; the '94 and '01 self-titled releases split the vote at #21, and even this year's average-at-best "Maladroit" made it, at #91). Now, I admit Weezer's not a bad band, but come ON... if any band deserves all of their albums on an all-time top 100, it's Tool.
* Speaking of which, Tool only made one entry on the chart, with the '96 release "Aenima" clocking in at #27. Where the fuck are the other two? Has NOBODY heard "Lateralus"?
* As for my boys... Pearl Jam made a decent showing, with three of their six albums making the cut; predictably, "Ten" ranked highest (#19), but "Vs." (#50) and "Vitalogy" (#82) should have had higher billing in my book. And hey, where's the love for "Yield"? Just because it didn't sell a gazillion copies... ah well, at least I can take solace in the fact that ZERO Creed albums made the list.
* The big winners on the chart? U2, with a whopping six entries in the top 100 ("Joshua Tree" at #4, "Achtung Baby" at #10, "All That You Can't Leave Behind" at #15, "War" at #49, "The Unforgettable Fire" at #53 and, surprisingly, "Zooropa" at #70). Of course, the Beatles did alright for themselves as well, scoring five of the top 100 slots, four of them in the top ten (for the record, "Revolver" was voted #1). The lowest Beatles entry on the chart? "Rubber Soul", at #23. Other notable multiples include Bob Dylan (4), Bruce Springsteen (3), Madonna (4), and Radiohead (3).
* Now, I know that whenever someone compiles a top 100 anything, debate ensues. But, there really shouldn't be much debate over the following ratass albums that somehow, someway, made the Top 100... Oasis - "(What's The Story) Morning Glory?" at #33 (just don't get me started on these wankers), Dave Matthews Band's "Crash" at #54 (stop booing, you and I both know that was DMB's crappiest effort), Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" at #58 (good rap-rock? Sure. One of the hundred greatest albums of all time? Highly doubtful), and the amazingly atrocious Mariah Carey, whose "Daydream" album came in at #69... rather ironic, don't you think? Which reminds me, Alanis' "Jagged Little Pill" was voted #47. Okay, it MIGHT... just MIGHT... be top 100 material, but don't put that shit ahead of "Vs."! That just makes me angry.
* Interesting lesson on economics... if there's any doubt that this chart was powered in part by sales, it'll be obliterated by the numbers...
- The top 100 albums in the poll have sold a combined total of 598 million copies. That's an average of nearly six million copies each! Of the top 100, only ten of them have sold less than a million copies. And only ONE of those has sold less than 500,000 copies. So, out of 100 albums, just one (for the record, that one was Velvet Underground's "Nico") has not received a gold or platinum certification. Scary shit. To be fair to the ones that just sold one or two million, though, it's important to note that sales of Beatles' "White Album" (#5), Led Zeppelin's "IV" (#9), Michael Jackson's "Thriller" (#12), Pink Floyd's "The Wall" (#31), and Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" (#43) eat up a combined total of 108 million, or 18%, of the total. Can you tell I'm bored?
- If these albums were so damn popular, why don't I have them all? Looking over the list, I can say that I've owned, at one time or another, 53% of the top 100. Factor in those that have found new homes via the local pawn shops, and the number is sliced to 31%. Apparently, I'm not hip to what the majority of folks consider the greatest of all time. Fuck them, I've got my own list. Wanna see it?
WILLIE'S TOP 50 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME
Yes, only fifty. Why? Because if I did 100, there'd be more crap thrown in. And, by the way, I'll not explain my choices, just take it as it is... and yes, I realize that the list is new rock heavy. That's because I dig on new rock. Spare me your Beatles and Rolling Stones love stories, it's only on the list if I like it. That said, here's the damn list. Enjoy, and share your thoughts.
1. PEARL JAM - Vs. (1993)
2. FAITH NO MORE - Angel Dust (1992)
3. TOOL - Lateralus (2001)
4. METALLICA - Master Of Puppets (1986)
5. RADIOHEAD - OK Computer (1997)
6. PEARL JAM - Ten (1991)
7. NIRVANA - In Utero (1993)
8. SYSTEM OF A DOWN - Toxicity (2001)
9. AT THE DRIVE-IN - Relationship Of Command (2000)
10. NINE INCH NAILS - The Downward Spiral (1994)
11. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Day For Night (1994)
12. SOUNDGARDEN - Superunknown (1994)
13. TOOL - Aenima (1996)
14. FAITH NO MORE - The Real Thing (1989)
15. PANTERA - Far Beyond Driven (1994)
16. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE - Rage Against The Machine (1992)
17. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Up To Here (1989)
18. STONE TEMPLE PILOTS - Purple (1994)
19. METALLICA - ...And Justice For All (1988)
20. DEFTONES - White Pony (2000)
21. ALICE IN CHAINS - Dirt (1992)
22. RADIOHEAD - Kid A (2000)
23. GUNS N' ROSES - Appetite For Destruction (1987)
24. A PERFECT CIRCLE - Mer de Noms (2000)
25. NINE INCH NAILS - The Fragile (1999)
26. THE CULT - Sonic Temple (1988)
27. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - Californication (1999)
28. PEARL JAM - Vitalogy (1994)
29. KORN - Korn (1994)
30. PINK FLOYD - The Wall (1979)
31. SOUNDGARDEN - Badmotorfinger (1991)
32. SMASHING PUMPKINS - Siamese Dream (1992)
33. SEX PISTOLS - Never Mind The Bollocks (1977)
34. THE TRGAICALLY HIP - Phantom Power (1998)
35. WEEZER - Pinkerton (1996)
36. PEARL JAM - Yield (1998)
37. HELMET - Meantime (1992)
38. LIVE - Throwing Copper (1994)
39. MATTHEW GOOD BAND - The Audio Of Being (2001)
40. PANTERA - Vulgar Display Of Power (1992)
41. METALLICA - Metallica (1991)
42. TOOL - Undertow (1993)
43. NIRVANA - Bleach (1988)
44. SLAYER - Seasons In The Abyss (1990)
45. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - BloodSugarSexMagik (1991)
46. THE STROKES - Is This It (2001)
47. GUNS N' ROSES - Use Your Illusion (1991)
48. RANCID - And Out Come The Wolves... (1995)
49. SMASHING PUMPKINS - Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness (1995)
50. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Fully Completely (1992)
So there it is... my 50 favorites of all frickin' time. It should be duly noted that no albums from this year have been included, because I believe it's a premature practice to hail anything as the second coming of Christ before it's even gotten to record stores. I'm talking directly to The Vines through that statement. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
* As mentioned previously, there are a hell of a lot of Weezer fans on the Internet. How do I know? Weezer is the only band in the Top 100 to have ALL of their albums included. Yes... ALL of them ("Pinkerton" was highest ranked at #16; the '94 and '01 self-titled releases split the vote at #21, and even this year's average-at-best "Maladroit" made it, at #91). Now, I admit Weezer's not a bad band, but come ON... if any band deserves all of their albums on an all-time top 100, it's Tool.
* Speaking of which, Tool only made one entry on the chart, with the '96 release "Aenima" clocking in at #27. Where the fuck are the other two? Has NOBODY heard "Lateralus"?
* As for my boys... Pearl Jam made a decent showing, with three of their six albums making the cut; predictably, "Ten" ranked highest (#19), but "Vs." (#50) and "Vitalogy" (#82) should have had higher billing in my book. And hey, where's the love for "Yield"? Just because it didn't sell a gazillion copies... ah well, at least I can take solace in the fact that ZERO Creed albums made the list.
* The big winners on the chart? U2, with a whopping six entries in the top 100 ("Joshua Tree" at #4, "Achtung Baby" at #10, "All That You Can't Leave Behind" at #15, "War" at #49, "The Unforgettable Fire" at #53 and, surprisingly, "Zooropa" at #70). Of course, the Beatles did alright for themselves as well, scoring five of the top 100 slots, four of them in the top ten (for the record, "Revolver" was voted #1). The lowest Beatles entry on the chart? "Rubber Soul", at #23. Other notable multiples include Bob Dylan (4), Bruce Springsteen (3), Madonna (4), and Radiohead (3).
* Now, I know that whenever someone compiles a top 100 anything, debate ensues. But, there really shouldn't be much debate over the following ratass albums that somehow, someway, made the Top 100... Oasis - "(What's The Story) Morning Glory?" at #33 (just don't get me started on these wankers), Dave Matthews Band's "Crash" at #54 (stop booing, you and I both know that was DMB's crappiest effort), Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" at #58 (good rap-rock? Sure. One of the hundred greatest albums of all time? Highly doubtful), and the amazingly atrocious Mariah Carey, whose "Daydream" album came in at #69... rather ironic, don't you think? Which reminds me, Alanis' "Jagged Little Pill" was voted #47. Okay, it MIGHT... just MIGHT... be top 100 material, but don't put that shit ahead of "Vs."! That just makes me angry.
* Interesting lesson on economics... if there's any doubt that this chart was powered in part by sales, it'll be obliterated by the numbers...
- The top 100 albums in the poll have sold a combined total of 598 million copies. That's an average of nearly six million copies each! Of the top 100, only ten of them have sold less than a million copies. And only ONE of those has sold less than 500,000 copies. So, out of 100 albums, just one (for the record, that one was Velvet Underground's "Nico") has not received a gold or platinum certification. Scary shit. To be fair to the ones that just sold one or two million, though, it's important to note that sales of Beatles' "White Album" (#5), Led Zeppelin's "IV" (#9), Michael Jackson's "Thriller" (#12), Pink Floyd's "The Wall" (#31), and Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" (#43) eat up a combined total of 108 million, or 18%, of the total. Can you tell I'm bored?
- If these albums were so damn popular, why don't I have them all? Looking over the list, I can say that I've owned, at one time or another, 53% of the top 100. Factor in those that have found new homes via the local pawn shops, and the number is sliced to 31%. Apparently, I'm not hip to what the majority of folks consider the greatest of all time. Fuck them, I've got my own list. Wanna see it?
WILLIE'S TOP 50 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME
Yes, only fifty. Why? Because if I did 100, there'd be more crap thrown in. And, by the way, I'll not explain my choices, just take it as it is... and yes, I realize that the list is new rock heavy. That's because I dig on new rock. Spare me your Beatles and Rolling Stones love stories, it's only on the list if I like it. That said, here's the damn list. Enjoy, and share your thoughts.
1. PEARL JAM - Vs. (1993)
2. FAITH NO MORE - Angel Dust (1992)
3. TOOL - Lateralus (2001)
4. METALLICA - Master Of Puppets (1986)
5. RADIOHEAD - OK Computer (1997)
6. PEARL JAM - Ten (1991)
7. NIRVANA - In Utero (1993)
8. SYSTEM OF A DOWN - Toxicity (2001)
9. AT THE DRIVE-IN - Relationship Of Command (2000)
10. NINE INCH NAILS - The Downward Spiral (1994)
11. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Day For Night (1994)
12. SOUNDGARDEN - Superunknown (1994)
13. TOOL - Aenima (1996)
14. FAITH NO MORE - The Real Thing (1989)
15. PANTERA - Far Beyond Driven (1994)
16. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE - Rage Against The Machine (1992)
17. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Up To Here (1989)
18. STONE TEMPLE PILOTS - Purple (1994)
19. METALLICA - ...And Justice For All (1988)
20. DEFTONES - White Pony (2000)
21. ALICE IN CHAINS - Dirt (1992)
22. RADIOHEAD - Kid A (2000)
23. GUNS N' ROSES - Appetite For Destruction (1987)
24. A PERFECT CIRCLE - Mer de Noms (2000)
25. NINE INCH NAILS - The Fragile (1999)
26. THE CULT - Sonic Temple (1988)
27. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - Californication (1999)
28. PEARL JAM - Vitalogy (1994)
29. KORN - Korn (1994)
30. PINK FLOYD - The Wall (1979)
31. SOUNDGARDEN - Badmotorfinger (1991)
32. SMASHING PUMPKINS - Siamese Dream (1992)
33. SEX PISTOLS - Never Mind The Bollocks (1977)
34. THE TRGAICALLY HIP - Phantom Power (1998)
35. WEEZER - Pinkerton (1996)
36. PEARL JAM - Yield (1998)
37. HELMET - Meantime (1992)
38. LIVE - Throwing Copper (1994)
39. MATTHEW GOOD BAND - The Audio Of Being (2001)
40. PANTERA - Vulgar Display Of Power (1992)
41. METALLICA - Metallica (1991)
42. TOOL - Undertow (1993)
43. NIRVANA - Bleach (1988)
44. SLAYER - Seasons In The Abyss (1990)
45. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - BloodSugarSexMagik (1991)
46. THE STROKES - Is This It (2001)
47. GUNS N' ROSES - Use Your Illusion (1991)
48. RANCID - And Out Come The Wolves... (1995)
49. SMASHING PUMPKINS - Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness (1995)
50. THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Fully Completely (1992)
So there it is... my 50 favorites of all frickin' time. It should be duly noted that no albums from this year have been included, because I believe it's a premature practice to hail anything as the second coming of Christ before it's even gotten to record stores. I'm talking directly to The Vines through that statement. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
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