Single File: Metallica - "Hardwired"

6 OKAY

Ever since they released "the black album" a quarter century ago, Metallica has been embattled with legions of "fans" who claim everything they've done from that point "isn't metal". With that in mind, it seems every five to eight years we get an over-the-top attempt to appease the closed-minded, a contrived attempt at recreating a feeling that died with their first multi-platinum seller; a borderline tantrum to anyone saying "not metal", a petulant "is too".

Hardwired may be the most contrived, desperate and disingenuous thrasher Metallica have turned out in the last 25 years. It's also a calculated bid at shushing the haters that almost works. The thing is, as decent as the tune is (and let's not get it twisted, it's a decent tune), there's that underlying feeling that it's all surface; at the end of the day (or, in this case, nearly eight years of waiting), it's thrash-by-numbers, with nothing truly special about it to really get us excited for the full album. That said, it's 80 minutes long and only 12 tracks, so there's bound to be far more substance on the other songs, right? Er... right?

Hardwired... to Self-Destruct drops November 18th. For the love of Dio, can we get them to change that horrendous cover?