Happy 25th Birthday Hysteria!

What has nine arms and sucks?

That's the joke Def Leppard has been the butt of for the better part of the last quarter century. It's born from equal parts jealousy and reaction to most of their post-Hysteria output. Released 25 years ago today, Hysteria was not simply the peak of Def Leppard's career; it defined an age of slick, excessive rock by being the slickest and most excessive of them all.

A peek at Hysteria's tracklist to an uninitiated listener may leave that person confusing the album for a greatest hits release; indeed, the album boasted seven singles in its promotional run, four of them top ten smashes. All told, the album has sold over 20 million copies worldwide.

If it's impossible to overstate its massive hit factor, it's all too easy to forget its massive ambition as an album. At the time of its release, it actually set a record for being the longest album to ever fit on a single vinyl platter (at a runtime of almost 63 minutes). Virtually every second of it was packed with sound; loops, samples, background vocal, guitars, guitars, guitars. The whole thing's like a double-stuffed Oreo injected with more frosting and dipped in chocolate and marshmallows, then deep fried and used to top a bacon double cheeseburger that was made using half pound patties and a bun constructed entirely of pulled pork.

Does it sound dated? Absolutely; Hysteria is a product of the '80s and screams it from mountaintops. The drums (mostly mechanical on account of the one armed man) boom, snap and reverberate. The guitars vamp and squeal (courtesy in large part to dear departed Steve Clark on his last Def Leppard album). The vocals smother the ears in an aural dogpile. The production is gargantuan thanks to "Mutt" Lange, a producer who's been somewhat forgotten by time but is responsible for some of the hugest, most popular albums ever made.

At the end of the day, Hysteria is a unique artifact, an album that was perfectly suited for its times. Its bloated, glittery excess paralleled a society that was becoming fixated on indulgence and greed. Scenewise, it was a Ferrari among Mustangs, its sleaze factor refined, even made appealing. Make no mistake, this record has very naughty things on its mind, but it's all presented in such a lavish, distinguished fashion that even its filthiest moments come off as playful banter (one lump or two, hmm?).

The years haven't done Def Leppard any favours; bad luck and poor decisions have reduced their profile in such a way that an entire generation either doesn't know about them or doesn't understand why their parents liked them. And I think that's the most interesting thing about Hysteria; if you weren't there, you'll never understand. It's the kind of success story that could have only happened in 1987; you'll never convince someone of its importance who doesn't get the intangibles of the times.

For those who are looking for a definitive time capsule of late 80's glam-rock excess, those of us who were there, and (especially) those of us who forgot just how big Def Leppard were, it seems worthy, even important, to celebrate Hysteria on its silver anniversary.